Last year, we launched the first of our four kids—my eldest biological child, which I wrote about here, here and here. Our loving, lovable young man was happy to come home this summer and burrow back into his fetid nest for a few months. It literally took 45 seconds for the reasonably clean-smelling and orderly room, which functioned perfectly as a guest room during the last year, to bounce right back to its former condition, in both humidity and odor: something between a locker room for Vikings … [Read More...]
Ever had a conversation, maybe at a party, in a grocery store, or hanging out on the pole, that slowly transitions from mildly pleasant, to boring, to punishing? By punishing, I mean, physically uncomfortable. By physically uncomfortable, I mean, like having restless leg syndrome while being skinned alive.
Well, I figured something out recently, and it is this: The conversations I’ve just described really are torture, as defined by that dusty relic, the dictionary: “to inflict severe pain on.” … [Read More...]
For many people, the county fair conjures fond childhood memories of thrilling rides, crazy loops around the fun house and the smell of goat manure in the morning. There’s nothing quite like it. Except for the smell coming from the food stalls. Stalls? Yes, because that’s where throngs of hungry animals—the two-legged variety—go to graze on stick food. Come to think about it, the annual Stick Diet is the only one I’ve ever stuck to.
I like to open my four-day diet plan with a deep-fried … [Read More...]