To get straight to the point, I heard Matt McConaughey on a podcast recently, and the topic was relationships. He said his wife, Camila, serves him tea every morning because “her tea is the best.” That’s awesome! Incidentally, my husband makes the coffee every morning because he gets up before me. It’s not the best, but it’s better than the coffee I don’t make. As a matter of fact, he often brings it to me wherever I may be snuggled, trying to make the transition from asleep to wide awake.
But then McConaughey said this: “She still serves me my tea in the morning even if we had an argument the night before,” which I presume means they went to bed mad. For example, before going to bed, let’s say they start bickering about the price of tea in China (which happens to be relevant in today’s tariff-scariff atmosphere). Pretty soon, it’s on! Angry words are said that cannot be taken back! Green! Black! Pekoe! The dollar! The Yen! Tea-bagging! Sure enough, the McConaugheys sleep back-to-back that night, right after she turns away first, and he snarls, “arrrright, arrright, arrright!”
So, in this scenario, they get up the next morning, and she serves him his tea.
I have many questions. Does he meet the teapot at the table? I mean, he used the word “serve,” which conjures the image of her walking his teacup to him. In bed?? Tell me this is not the case. Over the top of his head? Now we’re getting somewhere.
Then the podcaster said, “Wow.” That’s all he could muster, probably because his wife was listening to the podcast. Then McConaughey said this:
“And that is the difference between marriage and dating.”
What? It is? First, that’s a hard no from me, tea dog. If he had said, “She still makes a pot of tea for us in the morning,” I could be on board. I mean, who would make only enough tea for one person? Even if the fight had Dateline potential, regardless of which end of the knife they’d find your DNA, making the usual amount of tea is the adult thing to do.
My main beef with this scenario is the lack of reciprocity. Where’s his selfless act, the ‘married, not dating’ thing he does for her after the argument? She’s the one checking her ego and rising above her pettiness. But what about him? Where’s the balance in this relationship? Where is the equivalency? Ew!
McConaughey justified it by saying this:
“If we were to get into a disagreement, say, while I was making steak and sushi for my lady, I wouldn’t just stop mid-dinner-making because I was mad.”
Oh, really? Why not? Duh! You were doing something nice for YOURSELF, too!
Analogy rejected!
Waking up in the morning on the heels of a disagreement from the night before feels shitty for both people. Maybe it’s just me, but “subservience” is not the vibe I’m looking to create the morning after a spat.
I don’t care how mature one or even two people may be; it stings a little to do something nice for someone you’re mad at before the spat has been resolved. Ew! There’s time later for niceties. Get your own damn tea, meet me in the living room, and let’s figure this shit out.
And then go back to bed and pretend to be single.
Photo by Emanuela Picone on Unsplash
His flaw has been revealed…damn! I’m pretty sure my tea would sail right over his head.