The Surreal Housewife Blog

Recently, my husband and I decided to answer the question, what if marriages worked like the kitchen featured in the series, 'The Bear'? Note: If you haven’t watched The Bear, nor ever worked a dish pit, line, or front of the house, you may not … [Read more...]

I’m at the age where it feels natural to take stock of my life and sort out the decisions and people I likely wouldn’t do over again if I had the chance. I also feel like it’s time to forgive myself for the bonkers way I conducted myself once upon a … [Read more...]

In late 2022, I did something seemingly stupid and brilliant. Since then, it’s come to my attention that only a select few people understand my decision. I know right away who these understanders are because halfway through my first sentence of … [Read more...]

At 5:15 p.m. on a recent Monday, my husband asked me, “What time is dinner?” For some reason, it struck me as odd. After all, it’s a question that’s been asked one fucktrillion times in this house, though less often now that we are barren. I … [Read more...]

The last quarter of her junior year, and a pre-dawn drop off at the airport for an early Easter morning flight to her home 2000 miles away. A long, curbside hug goodbye after an extended visit home – three weeks instead of two. Tender admonitions, … [Read more...]

As my four technically grown children insist on continuing to get older - grow up as it were - I have no choice but to keep revisiting how this feels. What I have noticed recently is that the feeling won’t stay still long enough to actually put a … [Read more...]

Since the beginning of this whole COVID-19 fucked up fiasco, which I’ve renamed FUF-20, I’ve been thinking things and wondering if other people are thinking them too. For example, how many people reading this have seriously considered having a … [Read more...]

I’ve got this. It took me a couple weeks, but I finally wrangled this dismal situation into submission like a cowboy gets a cow to submit. That actually sounds a little kinky, but this is no time to judge cows. Back to my story. Yesterday, I had my … [Read more...]

Turns out, when faced with a life-altering situation like a health pandemic, I’m not exactly who I thought I was. In fact, I’ve caught myself doing things that are so out of character in the last three weeks since being mostly housebound, stressed … [Read more...]