http://www.oliveoiltimes.com/massimo%e2%80%99s-oilThis is a short story I just had published in The Olive Oil Times. Follow the link to read a true romance...with olive oil. … [Read more...]
The Surreal Housewife Blog
Welcome to my blog. Now laugh and tell all your friends.
March Madness
It’s March and that means madness around my house. Of course, so does January, February, April, May, June…you get the idea. The madness this month comes not from basketball. I actually find it amusing to watch a grown man agonize over a bunch of … [Read more...]
Daffodil Hell
Not to be confused with Daffodil Hill, the popular tourist destination just a few miles to the east of our home, Daffodil Hell is what our front yard resembled following a visit by a satanic gardening cult (my husband Chris and me) who performed the … [Read more...]
My own (not so private) Disturbia
I had an epiphany the other day about a horrifying topic. Because I’m me, I didn’t panic. Instead, I decided to write about it. It all went down in a matter of seconds: the epiphany, the acknowledgement (“Hmm. That was sort of disturbing…”) and then … [Read more...]
What kind of busy are you?
So many people still ask me, “Why aren’t you teaching anymore” that I feel the need to make a formal statement. Since I don’t have a publicist (my 67-year-old dad bragging about his 43 year old daughter to his friends over coffee doesn’t count) I … [Read more...]
Top Ten Lists, Deconstructed
I hate top ten lists. Mainly, I hate them because at best, only two or maybe three entries are actually funny. Typically, it’s the first one on the list, (#10) because that gets the ball rolling and sucks you in; #8 is usually funny because if there … [Read more...]
Solutions on a silver platter
Sometimes kids just need a little help figuring things out. I know the current trend in child-rearing is to stay out of their hassles whenever possible, let them problem solve and all that crap, but is it worth it when you feel you might have a … [Read more...]
The Goodfellas guide to multitasking
Martin Scorsese is a scene-stealing phony who clearly staked out my house for years before baking all of his notes into a mafia-themed film version of a rich ziti, dripping with cheesy, philandering husbands, drugged out hoo-ahs (whores in Jersey) … [Read more...]
It takes a stink to raise a man-child
Let’s see….where to begin. Have I ever mentioned that my 12-year old son is a solid B student, gifted athlete, handsome devil, but living schizophrenically in two worlds? Not only that, he can pull you over to the dark side in just one sentence. … [Read more...]
Let’s argue about it
The situation: my nine year old daughter and twelve year old son will not stop arguing. No topic is too meaningless, no issue too worthless for them; they can make mountains out of molehills faster than I can make a gin and tonic, which is why I … [Read more...]
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