It’s probably getting really tiresome reading about my eleven year old son all the time. Unfortunately, the guy just won’t stop providing me with fodder…Yesterday, I was helping him with an essay that he had to write summarizing what he has learned … [Read more...]
The Surreal Housewife Blog
Welcome to my blog. Now laugh and tell all your friends.
Can I, Can I, Can I…
In my house, wanting things that other people have is a dangerous contagion the likes of which haven’t been experienced since the plague brushed Europe clean of a third of its population over six centuries ago. Back then the carriers were rats and … [Read more...]
Where Have All the Name Brands Gone?
I’m writing this with a heavy heart and an even heavier cart: that is, a cart laden with jumbo-saving sized packages whose providence isn’t Italy, France or even Mexico. My grocery cart, ever since I left teaching and its monthly salary, such as it … [Read more...]
Has anyone seen my funnybone?
By Lisa LuckeLately, I’ve felt lost. I’ve felt…separated from something important. Recently, I put my finger on it, and came up with what it is I need to locate: my sense of humor. More specifically, I need to find my sense of humor at critical times … [Read more...]
The Language Barrier
By Lisa LuckeIt’s been said that as young boys begin the gradual process of becoming young men, magical things happen: they take on more responsibilities, they look out for their younger siblings without being told to, and their brains go on an … [Read more...]
Rules and responsibilities
By Lisa LuckeI got all tripped up in my own rules the other day. Most of the time, they stay out of my way, but occasionally, they’re like a squirming, coiled rope that I have to dance around carefully. I made the mistake of taking one of my eight … [Read more...]
Xmess Traditions
Every family has its Christmas traditions. Some we look forward to with enthusiasm, others we tend to avoid thinking about until they are upon us, like my grandmother’s tomato aspic, or my Uncle Ted’s kamikaze-style wet kiss on the mouth, which he … [Read more...]
Please pass the anesthesia
Traveling with children in a state that restricts the sale of alcohol is a little like waking up during the middle of brain surgery. You know you are supposed to be here, on the trip, with four children, but is it supposed to be this painful? Where … [Read more...]
Please Pass the Bullets
If a 10 year old boy drops his pencil in the middle of the kitchen for the fifth time while gearing up to start doing his homework, does his mom hear it even if her head has popped off?The answer is Yes. In fact, she continues to hear it the 6th, … [Read more...]
Don’t everyone answer at once
Everyone knows about the laws in the universe, like gravity, that keep our feet on the ground. Equally well known is the ninth law of thermodynamics, which states that sitting on black vinyl car seats in the middle of August really hurts. And who … [Read more...]