Last fall, we implanted our youngest two children, step-sisters, at their chosen universities, which makes our nest officially empty, most of the time. Over the years, I’ve written about having one, then two, then four in high school at the same … [Read more...]
The Surreal Housewife Blog
Welcome to my blog. Now laugh and tell all your friends.
How puzzles are like sex
About a month ago, as I wandered around Walmart in a jump-start-on-Xmess-shopping high, I drifted past the aisles of plastic toys, just for fun. I was feeling a tiny bit nostalgic, but mostly grateful. No longer must I venture into the dark recesses … [Read more...]
Give and Take: A Note of Thanks
(This blog post is dedicated to Annette Adam, who passed away in August 2017.) Full disclosure, I really wasn’t a close friend of Annette’s, but it is hard not to develop an affinity for someone who was so genuinely nice. In fact, my adoration for … [Read more...]
I Miss My Hot Mess of a Friend, New York
I spent several days in New York recently, and like almost every other time, about a dozen in the last 25 years or so, I had the time of my life, but sure was glad to get home. But I miss it. I miss it like I miss an exhausting, crazy friend that I … [Read more...]
Here We Go Again: Table for Four?
Our kitchen table just took another hit last week. The big oblong shape formed when all three leaves are inserted in the tiger oak table lost a leaf last year when our first kid hit the college road. This September, I took two leaves out. Now, the … [Read more...]
Goodbye, Again: A Sophomore is Born
Last year, we launched the first of our four kids—my eldest biological child, which I wrote about here, here and here. Our loving, lovable young man was happy to come home this summer and burrow back into his fetid nest for a few months. It literally … [Read more...]
Would You Rather…
Ever had a conversation, maybe at a party, in a grocery store, or hanging out on the pole, that slowly transitions from mildly pleasant, to boring, to punishing? By punishing, I mean, physically uncomfortable. By physically uncomfortable, I mean, … [Read more...]
The Stick Diet
For many people, the county fair conjures fond childhood memories of thrilling rides, crazy loops around the fun house and the smell of goat manure in the morning. There’s nothing quite like it. Except for the smell coming from the food stalls. … [Read more...]
Male vs. Female Bodily Functions: Who’s Got it Worse?
No beatin’ around the thesis bush (no pun intended) today: With every passing rotten development that befalls the human body, from adolescence to death, females suffer in extreme disproportion to men. For me, it started with the mental anguish … [Read more...]
A Cautionary Tale from the Corporate Shenanigans File
Our DirectTV went out recently, showing a "775" error on the screen, with some troubleshooting steps. I followed the steps on the screen. No worky. That evening, my husband called "customer service" and “Roy” told him the 775 error is an equipment … [Read more...]
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